As I travel down the path that has been laid out before me I often wonder whether or not I should stay or take that sharp turn.
For as long as I can remember that sharp turn ahead has haunted me. It has never been far from my mind.
I grew up out in the country, down this windy country road. As you reached this one sharper turn many a car has flown off and down the cliff. Many a people have lost their lives on that country road, on that turn.
You see I’ve always fought depression. Every time I’ve reached that corner I’ve thought about not turn the wheel and going straight. This urge has been so bad at times in my life that I would have to drive the long way up the hill in order to avoid that corner. On these days I knew if I saw that corner face to face what I would do. I wouldn’t turn that wheel.
The last few years I’ve watched my health decline, seen more doctors on a regular basis then I care to admit, have a ton of medicines I’ve got to take on a daily basis to survive, and have felt like I am a ticking time bomb never knowing when it is this body is going to finally give out. As the pain increases the feelings within grow stronger and stronger until I reach this point where mentally I am standing at the corner with one foot over the edge and the other barely keeping ground.